Wives of Nightfall

I’ve read and heard many arguments about prostitution. Some writers were able to drive it very well why prostitution should be legalized in the Philippines but in this article, I will focus on the opinion of my English literature professor that prostitution may be viewed as therapeutic.

After discussing Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, we had the chance to talk about the role of women in stories – women who often are the love interests of male characters. More often than not, as one of my classmates opined, women are the ultimate causes of a man’s fall. As early as the creation of human, a woman named Eve is the reason why Adam was thrown out of the Garden of God.

Professor A argues that when a man decides to get laid with a woman whose business is to satisfy earthly desires in exchange of monetary consideration, evidently the man has a problem within the bounds of his marriage life. Performing the unsatisfied desire with another woman somehow alleviates the personal circumstance of the man. By doing so, the man goes back home and behaves as if no trouble exists. This is what he means by the therapeutic effect of women prostitutes to men.

In the spell of law, two people who engage in sexual activity outside the blessing of marriage are both guilty – the woman of adultery and the man of concubinage. This tells us that such act is unlawful, and based on our moral standards, it is indeed immoral. If an act is unlawful and immoral but therapeutic, would you recommend this as a therapy? Will you be comfortable reading a sign which says: Take advantage of our sexual therapy at 0% interest! I find it hard to imagine myself getting familiar with above-mentioned sign.

Let Thy Will Be Done

Death always comes as a surprise. It snatches life without notice. Everybody knows its occurrence but not everyone approaches it with such a cheerful attitude. Ask any person on how he views death and most probably you’ll get a common answer that death has a positive form but negative meaning. However, for me, death has a positive form and positive meaning. Natural human experience shows that losing the spatio-temporal existence of somebody whom you care, admire, and love surely brings a gloomy atmosphere.

I would say that I’m lucky because I was born with all my grandparents alive, I had a little of both worlds. All of them saw me grow, and I was special to them. During my developmental years, they influenced me and indirectly taught me to think for myself but they did not in anyway taught me to be brat. I learned about their lives through their stories. I was never deprived to listen to their experiences which helped me to know them better. It may be the case that I don’t know them exactly but at least I know them by what they showed and told me. Whenever I was with them, I can let my guards down, act like a child but see the world through grown-up eyes.

My mother’s father whom we call Papa kicked the bucket ahead of my other grandparents. He was the man who taught me what real courage is by simply allowing me to ride a horse at a very young age. He has this unique way of letting me sleep – by letting me hear his earsplitting snore. Losing him was extremely painful but there was no remorse.

Nanay, who is my father’s mother meet her Maker during the celebration of Philippine Centennial. She was very humble and affectionate. “Learn to be patient,” she used to say. She taught that lesson well. I can vividly remember the weekends at their house. One time while sitting on her lap, she said that I’ll have mustache. She was right but partly wrong; she did not tell me that I’ll have a sparse mustache.

Yesterday, my younger sister sent a text telling me that Tatay (my dad’s father) expired. It’s sad losing him. He is almost 80 but his eyes did not go bad. He can read the Bible without eye-glasses. Through his stories, I learned how he struggled to get an education. He was not a scholar but he writes very well. His drafts expressed what he wanted to say. Sadly, those drafts were never published. One time, he asked me to prepare a family-tree which I started while in high school but I never had the chance to finish it. He wanted to connect with the people whom he considers part of his family.

Losing my three grandparents somehow taught me to approach death with a different attitude.

When I started blogging this year, it crossed my mind to blog about how I want my own funeral to happen. Not that I want to die but my life experiences prepared me to approach death not with sadness but with immeasurable thanks to God. For me, planning about one’s funeral is exactly the same as planning about one’s graduation, marriage, promotion, birthday, and other momentous occasions. After all, it’s not about our will but it’s His will; hence, we always say: Let Thy will be done. It’s just that our culture has a negative sentiment about dying.

It came to a point wherein dying for me is such a blissful event primarily because I’ll be meeting God. Nothing can be greater than to live life with the Maker. In His land, I’ll have no memories of my earthly life; otherwise, such memories will make me sad. Personally, I believe that sadness does not exist in Heaven. Not that I don’t want to remember my loved ones but the feeling of losing sad memories on earth is something which for me is truly liberating. It’s like a memory stick being reformatted which immediately utters: Hooray, no file exists here!

I want my funeral to display a positive attitude towards death. I want tears of happiness not of sadness. I want people to realize that earthly death is the only key to live with God.

Today, I know that Tatay joined his Creator not with a heavy heart but with a joy in his heart because he kept a good relationship with God during his waking days.

Whatever His plan for Tatay, I want Him to let it happen. I completely surrender Tatay to God.

Lord, let Your will be done.

Redefining Success

Winston Churchill says that success is not final and failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.

One important lesson I learned is not to equate money with success though admittedly money is part and parcel of what success is all about. I do not know anyone who proudly announces that he is successful yet penniless but I know a lot of people who say that they are not successful but their worth goes beyond their height.

On a personal note, I can say that one can be successful in many aspects of his life but not necessarily in life as a whole. One can say that he is a successful father but not a successful businessman. The downside of this particular success as opposed to a universal success is that it seems to elude one’s desire for a universal success.

This brings me to the issue whether or not universal success is possible. Can a person be successful in all aspects of his life? In recent years, Abraham Maslow’s concept of self-actualization continues to receive criticisms on the grounds that self-actualization is not possible. If at all possible, some say that it only applies to few aspects of life but not life in its entirety.

I would say that success has a social component. I call it personal success versus public success. When a person thinks that he is successful in his own right without reference to the public opinion, such private thinking is personal success. However, when a person receives innumerable opinion that he is successful even if such person believes otherwise, the success as I call it is a public success. One may slide from public to private and in reverse. Throughout a person’s life, one may swing from one type of success to another at any point in time without any clear indication. Yes, one can be personally and publicly successful but not successful in all aspects of life; otherwise, he is acting life God.

Indeed, success is failure turned inside out. If you feel like you’re a loser in life, think on how the public thinks about your achievements. Look at the glass half-full. If on the other hand the public thinks that you’re such a loser but you feel otherwise; let the world know that you’re successful. The world will listen.

As Churchill says, have the courage to continue. Never, never, never stop and do not lose your enthusiasm.

Unconditional Love of a Father to His Son

Kids have this concept that fathers are larger than life and I am no exception when I was still a kid. As a child, I was made to believe that Papa can do just anything, that he is invincible until I reached the right age and finally realized that he is as imperfect as other people. Bottom line, he is not exempted. Despite his apparent imperfections, it did not change our love for him. Personally, it made my love for my father even more intense.

If there is one person who taught me lessons from fictional characters, it was Papa. I vividly remember those treasured moments when he would read children stories during bed time. Papa shared some precious moments teaching me how to maneuver the bicycle. I would say that I’m lucky to have him because I did not learn biking and driving all by myself. Papa was the one who pushed me and encouraged me to go beyond my comfort zones. Going beyond my comfort zones with him by my side was like learning something with a truly loving coach.

For his athletes, Papa was a responsible baseball coach but for me he was a life coach. He has a big dream for me. I remember him telling me that I’ll go places. Today, I say that God will bring me to places He wants me to be.

Papa is a superman. He is an educator, a coach, a carpenter, a farmer, a fisherman, a father, a husband to my Mama, and a friend. You see, he is more than life.

As a father, his love for us is more than enough. He is not a perfect father but he is the only father I have.

The inspiring story of Dick and Rick Hoyt reminds me of my Papa. Every time I watch the video of the Hoyt team, it always brings me to tears. It not only reminds of my father but it reminds me of God’s love for us. Such unconditional love motivates me to put up a family where such kind of love is overflowing.

Beauty and Art

I had a chance to see the winning artwork of Artwork (Shirt Brand) at SM Manila and while looking at the grand prize, I sort of quizzed myself as to how contemporary art critics judge works of art.

Since judges vary from year to year, I would like to think that the tastes of the individual judges vary as well. Thus said, the winning piece may not be the winning work had the panel of judges been different. Beauty is relative so they say, but the recognition of the winning entry still receives such decorations and recognitions.

I saw works which are truly simple and not extraordinary. They seem to capture a real scenario but they fail to capture the beauty of the picture which it supposed to depict. Should the concept of beauty be truly apparent for a work to be called art? Or art is inherent even if beauty is wanting? Or art and beauty are inseparable?

In the Philippine movie industry, directors and critics keep on arguing that whenever there exists a sexy scene on the movie or scene which involves gun and death, it is a portrayal of art. The viewing public does not clearly delineate whether or not a given work of art is indeed art or short of it. The public opinion simply focuses on whether or not the work of art is acceptable according to their taste.

If the concept of beauty is relative, then beauty cannot be defined because of the complexities of beauty which does not have an across culture validity. More often than not, men from the Orient especially those from the Philippines admire women who have long hair and fair complexion to white complexion. Never will a person hear somebody saying in Filipino, ‘Wow, pare ang itim!” It is ironic however that Occidental men are fans of women who have dark complexion. As one author says, black beauty is a box office hit in Europe.

Mountain of garbage is truly an eye-sore but not if camera lenses took pictures from a wholly different angle. Imagine Princess Diana walking on top of the mountain of garbage. Some might say: Hey, this is not an eye-sore, this is a real work of art! One might disagree and such disagreement is simply an affirmation that beauty cannot have an objective standards but specific to the brain structures of the person who judges the piece.

Fiona fell in love with Shrek despite the confession that he is an ogre. Im not saying that he is ugly, he simply doesn't pass my personal standards of a lovable ogre.

You see, if it is indeed true that beauty is relative to the observer, then the conclusion is the concept of ugliness is relative as well. Hence, judging that one is ugly is always erroneous. The right way of saying it is that the work does not fit one’s taste because the work might be pleasing to other judges.

Ultimately, this piece is a work of art.

Whatdyahthink?

2008 Memories│ 2009 Plans

2008 has just ended and the best thing to do is to prepare myself for the challenges of the year which is about to unfold and review how much I’ve achieved and accomplished.

The year of the rat thrown me into a rat race; where winning doesn’t matter according to Lily Tomlin because the fact remains that I’m still a torat. Being a shared resource in the office, meeting deadlines was a real pain in the ass not to mention some academic requirements I had to meet. I paid a high price for procrastination both in the workplace and in the academe. Indeed, 2008 was a ratty-year.

2008 opened with a rattie-bank from a friend. Somehow, the bank taught me how to save to pay for my phone bill. The experience was truly a way-of-life of a person living in a developing country where the collection of coins just grow each day with the sole purpose of covering the recurring monthly bill. The excruciating pain of keeping the 5 and 10 peso denominations was proven useful especially when payment is due but the efforts did not help me cut down my expenses; neither did it increase my savings. I call this a rat-banking.

The rat-hating nature in me allowed me to escape the intuitive creature but the downside is that I embraced crEdit instead of sAvings which made me a credit card swiping-rat. Lesson: I must learn the alphabet by heart. Ingrain in mind and etch in my heart that the A in sAvings comes first before the E in crEdit.

The enterprising character of ratties showed up when I learned to embrace the enticing beauty of investments. Though I encountered the downturn of investments, it allowed me to risk certain level of my savings which opened myself to bigger investment opportunities.

The ripsnorting rodent in me just smelled one of the right position of E and A in learning. Being engaged in the rat-race motivated me to study and achieve more. Realizing that learning can be fun made my two terms in the academe truly memorable.

It was during Q4 of 2008 when my application to an international organization (SIOP) as a student affiliate was approved. At the same time, my application for DILG as LGOO was approved. I’m leaving my current position not with a heavy heart but with forward looking attitude that 2009 will offer a bright future to the company which I will desert and the national agency which I will join and turn me into an honorable rat folk.

Without much ado, one thing comes to mind: my 2008 was truly a rat-inspired journey.

For my 2009 agenda, I have my top ten to-do-list:

1. Pray even more.
Establishing a deep relationship with God (whom you do not see) is kinda hard because the tendencies to compromise, negotiate, and rationalize are things which are much easier to perform than to commit with the unseen.

2. Save.
Status symbol drives me nuts. I must open a bank account which will require me to save without exerting an effort which in turn will cut down my expenses. This way, savings plan will truly materialize.

3. Publish everyday.
I need to use my time wisely by publishing at least one article each day. I’ve been dreaming of active blogging but my time did not allow me last year so this first blog is a fresh start. I aim to publish one article in SIOP Journal as well. I'm crossing my fingers.

4. Be on time.
Procrastination affected my personal revenue and the company revenue as well. If my aim is to be productive this year, then I have to learn how to manage my time and use it wisely; not only for myself but for every stakeholders which rely on my productivity.

5. Put up a business.
While I’m still young and energetic, I have to take advantage of the things which I learned from my mentors and use them in setting up my own business. I’ll start a small one but I’ll start it right. May God bless me!

6. Volunteer.
Yes, the world offers her resources for the usufruct of the living and for us to survive but I have to offer back my services to sustain the resources that the world can offer. Remember: Our resources are LIMITED.

7. Read more and watch less TV.
Though TV is one source of inspiration, nothing beats reading valuable creations of classic writers.

8. Stay fit and live healthy.
There are a number of ways to live healthy. I need to keep a healthy lifestyle. Eating right foods and exercise will help. Enrolling in a gym might not help me save but if it will help me live a healthy lifestyle then every cent is worth it for the monthly dues.

9. Put up an organization.
Set up an academic organization to help other students.

10. Buy a laptop.
It doesn’t have to be an Apple. So long as it has the features which suit my needs, I’ll grab it. But I have to pay CASH. No credit card.